Whether you’re married for 20 days or 20 years, no one is immune to infidelity. The changes in society act against one of the fundamental principles of marriage and it’s correctness. Many people have begun to implement other type of infidelity – with work, with hobby, with everything that gets more attention, care and time that otherwise rightfully belongs to the partner. In society and in the press, several misconceptions about infidelity are embedded and distributed. Here are some of the major myths about it.
Myth 1. There is no such thing as cheating in healthy marriages. According to a study by psychologist Gary Newman, 68% of men who have cheated, were convinced that this will never happen to them. When you have a healthy and happy marriage, it reduces the likelihood of the partners to decide to flirt or have an affair with someone else. Couples need to be careful and sensitive to the needs of their partner. When these needs are met, it is less likely to succumb to temptation.
Myth 2. Those who cheat always choose someone more attractive than their partner. In most cases this is not the case and studies on the subject prove it. Only 12% of men say that the woman with whom they had an affair with was more beautiful and attractive than their wife. Most people choose an object to satisfy their needs, the appearance remains in the background.
Myth 3. For the infidelity to happen, guilt is also found in the other partner. Sometimes when a person finds out about the infidelity of his partner, he begins to ask questions like: “what was wrong”, “what I did wrong.” You should not blame or condemn yourself for the actions and behaviour of your partner. We are already big enough; everyone is responsible for what he done.
Myth 4. The main reason for infidelity is always the need for sex. It can be assumed that the lack of sex at home is one of the reasons for seeking sexual gratification outside, but according to statistics men and women cheat, not because of the need for sex, but in times of crisis or personal problems. For men, this is the time when they feel that they are about to take on a greater responsibility, which they are expecting such the birth of their child or even the marriage itself. Midlife crisis is another factor, and so is the desire for man to keep his youth and manhood from slipping away, to prove that he is still liked and sexually active. For women, this is the time when they start to feel more as hosts and nannies than attractive wives, seeking to offset this feeling of flirtation and courtship by other males. The phenomenon of “deserted nest”, when children leave home, also affects the decision to infidelity.
Myth 5. If it is just sex without feelings, then this is not really cheating. Many people try to justify their actions by claiming that the primary factor for infidelity lies in the feelings. By doing so, you try to reduce remorse and ignore the guilt in order to justify the actions.